{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am so sorry you are going through so much. Constant pain is hard to deal with even when you aren't depressed. Have you considered alternative medicine to suppliment your regular treatment. I hear wonderful things about accupunction. I have not done it but my Grandpa has and swears by it. He is a retired fireman. He messed up his back ages ago so has been retired for as long as I remember. His back has been a source of constant pain. He has to where a brace all the time and stuff. At one point his pain got so bad they were talking about doubling his medication. He didn't want to do that so he tried acupunture. His pain was reduced enough that he was able to reduce is medication. It is just a thought.

I am distressed that you are not getting any support from your husband. Have you thought of leaving him? If he is using you and not caring about the pain you are going through I think he should have to go fend for himself. Discuss it with your T. It seems to me like you deserve to more then a pack of cigarettes to your spouse. Consider talking to your T about that and see what he thinks.

I sincerely hope you can stay safe and work through this.
Take care Dear One,
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson