I feel the same way DPS. I'm later in life and it's like what's the point? But I also see that my thoughts changes depending on who's up front and/or my bipolar mood swings, because I'm always changing my mind and perspective on things. I try so very hard to not focus inward on myself because I'm my most worse enemy, I beat myself up just fine. So don't be so hard on yourself deary and just focus on the better that it can be.