I've been feeling like this for as long as I can remember. Way back when I was Ia little girl. It isn't exactly a constant feeling but it happens incredibly often that it might as well be. I have an appt to see a new pdoc tomorrow as well. I'm extremely scared to talk about it because I'm terrified she won't believe me. Sometimes, I feel like my body is just a puppet and my mind is controlled by another being. At times, my "self" is sucked out of my body and I will be able to see what my body is doing from a distance. I recently learned this was dissociating. I'm not always fully "present" i have periods of dissociating where when I come to, I have a vague memory of me doing what I had just done thought I know I had no control over it. Ex: a few weeks ago I had horrible nightmares of a trauma from my childhood and when I woke up, I wasn't fully "there". I watched myself self harm though I had no control to stop it (I really didn't want to as I hadn't self harmed in two years). I have tried Celexa but it didn't help my depression. I will tell my pdoc about all of what I talked about tomorrow though even though I'm scared. Honestly, I have a lot to talk about. My old pdoc diagnosed me with Depression, Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and Bipolar NOS Disorder. I also suffer from auditory, visual, and tactile hallucinations along with all of this I just described.
Thanks for listening. ��