I posted this in 'new member introductions' and they suggested I should post it here so here I go... I've been diagnosed with Bipolar, PTSD and not on any medication for any of these problems but I'm on a small dose of 'quetiapine' to help me sleep and I'm supposed to see a therapist every month but the last time I saw him was November because I keep forgetting getting an appointment, I know I need to get one soon but I'm sure she has a very busy schedule.

So my Problem right now is that I lost the will to live, I'm not suicidal but I'm tired of life and everything and I just want to sleep.

I've been manic for the last month and now I think I'm crashing into depression and I really don't want to sink into depression. I haven't slept in 3 days and I feel like I'm losing my mind, I need to sleep and the medication does make me sleepy but for some reason I don't want to sleep, This confuses me because I want to sleep but at the same I don't. I'm scared of sleeping but not sure why, when I put my head on the pillow my brain screams at me to get up and do something like read a book or do anything other than sleep and it just won't shut up so I get up and grab a book and stare at the book without reading a word because my brain just can't take in any word.

I'm so tired and I can't focus at all, I haven't left my room in 3 days, I skip classes because I just can't take it, its too noisy and people are annoying, my friends complain that they don't see me anymore but I just don't care anymore. I barely move from my bed, my room is a mess with stuff everywhere, I'm not eating because I don't want to move.

I had an exam last week which I did not study for because I couldn't focus, I tried to study but just couldn't and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail.
My head feels full and heavy, every muscle in my body aches because when I was manic, I pushed myself and did things I won't normally do so my body is exhausted but my brain won't stop. I feel like I'm between mania and depression.

The only thing I want to do is listen to music and live inside my head, inside my fantasy world, I Don't want to face the real world and I'm just so tired.