hi sparkely
i am sorry that you have to struggle in secret. that must be very painful. i thought i could never be fixed either, but i am in a much better spot than i was. finding a therapist that specialized in trauma was the best thing ever. i would recommend it. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome