Thats strange to me, that you have these expectations that somebody - a t, anybody - would have to perform a certain task before you saw them, in order for you to be pleased with them. Where does that expectation come from? Did your mother expect something? Was she not glad to see just you, it had to be something you made?

I used to sit in ts waiting room almost expecting to get yelled at as my transference, so we began our ownwelcome ritual. But your "ritual" feels scary to me, like you two are not comfortable with each other yet.

These are just my sleepytime impressions! I couldnt ask my mother for a can of soda without her getting mad and suspicious at me, so i really dont know what its like to be able to have expectations of someone. Except for what my t gives me?