You know what may have triggered the nightmare surrounding your T rejecting you could be just the fear of it happening. Seeking help, thinking that this will be a good postive expierence, the fear that something might go wrong, that it's too good to be true?

Does that make sense?

Sometimes T's just take awhile to get back, my psychiatrist can take up to a week to get back to me sometimes.

As for talking about details, no one is really ready to be honest, you have to look at it as something that needs to be done so you can start the healing process.