My first admission was after a lengthy time of me trying to be strong, to avoid being admitted as I was terrified of it. It was only after my husband heard a gunshot and came running back to the house where I was, thinking i was dead. He then lay on my lap crying that I realised I needed to be admitted to at least give him some sense of peace. I hadn't realised the impact my wildness, impulsiveness and instability had on my family and friends until that moment. It was that afternoon that I let my husband call my psychiatrist and get the ball rolling. And I am glad I did. Being inpatient (many, many times) has saved my life and been so beneficial to me. i am so thankful for the health system here as it hardly costs me anything except my insurance premiums. Otherwise I would not be able to afford treatment as I am on a very low income.