Unless it becomes life altering I probably won't. They already don't help me with the strong suicidal ideation I get and the rapid cycling. I just can't figure out if they believe me and there is not much that can be done or if they think I am making it up and just won't help me. Just hearing myself talk about this with my brother makes me feel like he is putting another layer of crazy/ weird on his impression of me. I think I need to stop talking with him about my disorder altogether. He never seems to be able to help anyway.

It's not paranoia. I don't picture people watching me. it's more like a quick flashback that never happened. Like revisiting a tramu that did not happen. As quick as changing Channels on a TV.