Quote:
Originally Posted by ck2d
I think that traditional CBT therapy is not infallible - it just doesn't do enough. Obviously, there hasn't been much research on avoidant people, so the therapists and psychs are kind of working blind, and are missing some gaps that avoidant people have. We're never going to speak up about them, after all.
|
My psych would be the first to tell you that CBT is a waste of time on me. lol.
Maybe perfect on others!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ck2d
I think learning about yourself, and learning what thoughts are avoidant vs authentic and how to tell the difference, I think that's only part of what needs to be done. It does give you a boost of confidence - suddenly the world makes a little more sense - but that can actually end up biting you. You might start to reach out to people, but you've had no experience learning what makes someone trustworthy because you've never done it before, so you're vulnerable to be victimized by people who seem nice on the surface. Then the problem with that is, when that happens you start to second guess yourself again, and backslide.
|
That's always going to happen. The only approach i used was to learn more about the disorder using myself as the monkey and the scientist.
My interest in the disorder after years of being in the dark pushed me to learn as much as I could because I find it interesting and easy to understand as it (hopefully that doesn't sound rude or disrespectful) What I started noticing patterns in avies, yes, we are all different because we have other traits woven into us, but we are still connected by a common thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ck2d
It's too bad you feel like you are cycling back into avoidance Snap. That flies in the face of the theory that PD's get better as we age. It does appear that avoidance is something that we have to constantly work on to maintain our progress, either by learning more about it or having fewer interactions with people. I doubt either of those options are available to you, or you would have done them. Despite your protestations, I think you're pretty intelligent and you're not just sitting around unaware. Perhaps looking into non-avoidant human nature so you can feel less vulnerable? You've learned how you tick, if you learn more about how other people tick, maybe the combination can help keep the avoidance at bay.
|
Getting better with age...
I think we condense and accept less than we once did.
The purpose of this thread is to shed some light for avies to provoke thought and understanding... and it may help partners of Avies who start to see their partner drifting away from them.
How I'm feeling isn't of concern and this thread and isn't to be read that way as I just wanted to show a larger picture of AvPD.