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Originally Posted by J. Bravo
Hi everyone,
Tomorrow I've got my first session and I'm pretty excited and hopeful, feels like it's the start of getting a new fresh working brain. I was diagnosted with ADD just a few months ago (I'm 23) and have been on medication since. I've started with dextroamphetamine, which pretty much felt like I was on some milder version of xtc, even with the smallest of dosage. Experienced lots of side effects. I couldnt sleep (like a normal person does), have had days where I could be easily awake for 30 hours then sleep 18 hours in one stretch and then wake up like a zombie.
I'm a noncompetitive fitnessjunk, the gym is a place for me where I can completely lose my mind and turn all negativity and anger into pure energy and adrenaline, it's kind of my own way of selfmedication, I guess. With this habit obviously I ate a lot, probably around 7 meals a day. But when I started using Dex, I completely lost my appetite for hours long. So it didn't took long for me to give up on this 'medication' and replaced it with ritalin, as my therapist told me that some people just react stronger to certain meds and vice versa. So with all hope I started using Ritalin and actually I did feel like I could focus a bit more than usual, but still somehow I didn't feel like my brain was working optimally like it does with others. After a while I started experiencing the same bit of side effects as with Dex (be it less intense). That's when I came to the conclusion these so-called 'meds' just don't belong in a humans body. There's a reason this stuff is used in the same way as E/MDMA as a way to chase a high at parties. Isn't the whole idea of medication to aid and prevent a certain disease as opposed to camouflage it?
Also the idea of me having to use 60mg a day for the rest of my life in order to function properly is not something I can cope with. Both practically as morally. So I started googling to find an alternative to medication and I ended up with Neurofeedback.
So, I'm wondering if anyone has ever done this or knows someone who did and what were your experiences with it?
PS: Didnt mean to offend anyone with the part about Ritalin/Dex, for the time being I'm still on ritalin btw.
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Im going to tell you about my personal experience with amphetamines. Adderall has absolutely destroyed my life and changed me forever. 4 years ago I faked ADHD symptoms and got a perscription to help me get through school while working full time and literally before I could even begin to worry about the possibility of addition or side effects it was too late and I was and still am 4 years later 100% physically dependent on this drug and now diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety, panic attack disorder, manic depression, bipolar depression & OCD. If I dont take my adderall in the morning I am literally on bed rest and incapable of accomplishing anything at all-even showering!!! And I just binge on junk food in bed all day-its disgusting! But when I do take it I have to force myself to eat, constantly cotton mouthed, wide awake wired till 3am every single night just reading and reading about my mental health disorders. Adderall used to make me feel peppy, motivated, productive, energetic, social, outgoing and really just overall "on top of the world." In order to achieve anything remotely close to that same "high" I now have to take 3X my prescribed dosage of 30mg so 90 total which is above the "safe" prescribed amount so of course I resort to buying my friend's extras for hella expensive. I literally cant sit still without feeling "useless and unproductive" I panic about time going by too fast every day and not getting enough done because I lose track of time cleaning and organizing the tiniest details over and over that don't even matter! Adderall has consumed my being and ruined my life! My boyfriend hates how I am on adderall. I overthink EVERYTHING, he can't even stand to go grocery shopping with me because I'm so cracked out that I feel the need to check every single shelf of every single aisle and buy a million things I don't need and just blow off the actual neccessities. I pick my cuticles til they bleed-it keeps me up all night! I have these new random phobias like closing my eyes in the shower, going anywhere alone, driving anywhere. Im constantly paranoid im being followed. My pupils are constantly dilated and I am physically unable to keep my hands and fingers still. The dark circles under my eyes are impossible to cover. I honestly feel like a full blown tweaker!!! I HATE adderall! I hate what it does to me! And yet I can't stop taking it every morning!!! I feel so hopeless. I never thought I'd be an "addict" just the word freaks me out. Im also in denial because I honestly believe that there's no way I could ever function without this drug. I truly believe that I need it. I have an extremely addictive personality that runs in my family and it has gotten the best of me. Not only am I miserable now but Im terrified of what it's doing to my body longterm. I know what I have to do, I just can't do it.