Wow, what a read. I'd mostly echo a couple of sentiments - one being to look after yourself first and foremost (though I don't think you being friends with Anne and giving her the lowdown is a bad thing at all), and two being that I think it's kind of fruitless to try to reconcile the two sides of a person like that (though I understand why you'd want to!)... No amount of likability or generosity makes up for victimizing and abusing and neglecting others. I can understand though wanting to see the good things in your own father.

I haven't had a father figure in my life personally. One (non-biological) tried to come back when I was 16 or 17 but it was really too late at that point to feel any sort of closeness or reconciliation. I only offer this up because I can say without a doubt that it's completely possible to live after cutting a father out. Though I guess it's more complicated than that given the size of the family... tough spot to be in, I'm sure.

Thanks for sharing and make sure not to forget to take care of yourself while trying to support Anne. Sadly, he'll probably find another young woman even if she does leave, so... choose your battles and how much of yourself you put into them wisely.