Hello, as the title of this thread states, I'm new here. I just registered about five minutes ago. Let me just say, I'm SO happy to have found an online support group/forum for people with DID. I've been suffering with this disorder for years before I really figured out what was wrong with me. At first I was in denial. Then I had a nervous breakdown when I realized how sick in the head I really was. I felt alone and scared and didn't know where to turn. Even the thought of therapy scared me. During my nervous breakdown I desperately searched for some sort of support group, and was extremely upset when I couldn't find anything. I felt so alone. I thought, "Wow, I'm so messed up in the head they don't even have support groups for people like me!!" Now I found a group with people actively posting!! Let's just say I'm super excited.

My story s long, drawn out and crazy. And I'm sure all of your stories are just as crazy as mine. I started a blog where I talk about my issues from start to finish. If anyone's interested, imbox me and I'll send you the link. I'd really like some feedback on it if anyone cares. Currently I'm seeing a therapist, spiritual counselor and a psychiatrist. I'm taking Lexapro for my PTSD and right now I feel my symptoms are under control, but that's not always the case. Just last week I was sleeping all day and crying from desperation and loneliness. It just feels like no one understands, and like I'm unfixable.

One of the things that set me off last week was my therapist telling me she didn't think she could help me. She said she's never dealt with DID, and she "couldn't wrap her head around my case." I felt rejected, but I've been working on myself by myself anyway. Its nice to have found people who can relate to me. I've read that some psychologists don't believe DID is real, and I can understand why. I probably wouldn't believe either if it wasn't happening to me.

My major issue is that I have a sinister alter ego who takes over when I'm drunk or sleeping. I quit drinking January of 2014 in order to control my alter, but now she keeps me awake at night talking. It happens every night. Its the same personality that took over when I drank. It seems like my dominant personality can't be taken over unless its in a weakened state. For example, last July I was ran over by a truck. When I laid down my head to die, my alter took over and stayed awake until the ambulance came.

The issue with my alter is she is always trying to sabatoge me in dangerous ways. Once she gave out my personal info to strangers and told them to "stalk" me. My life has never been the same since. I mean... Who can you trust if you casn't trust yourself? My alters also sabatoges my relationships too. Its as if she is trying to ruin my life so I give up and she can take over. I'm just too strong to let her win when I'm awake, so she is taking drastic measures.

Ugh... This is all so upsetting. I'm not sure if anyone has a similar issues with their DID. If you do, please share. Or you can just stop by to say hi and introduce yourself. I hope to establish real connections in here with people who understand.

Thanks for listening,

Jen :-)

Hi! Welcome to the funny farm!

I've only been here a short while too and it's amazing to find others like me! Trying to find an active forum for this disorder is hard. I like to talk so I'm around a lot.

It's interesting to hear that your "sinister" alter comes out when your drinking. I have the same situation happening also. You described it exactly how I described it in another post. After a little bit of alcohol, the mind and body is relaxed, and the Angry Man escapes his cage. Time disappears and come to find out he told my partner what every alter thinks about her. He rants and raves like a maniac. I've seen a glimpse of it for a second before I went out. He's a real jerk. My partner keeps asking what drugs am I on to be switching like that. I keep saying that I have parts but she doesn't believe it. We finally got the Angry Man back under chains. He hasn't been out in a few weeks. We're also trying to quit drinking too, but not quite just yet.

I'd say most of has a pact to take care of the body. Of course there a few renegades that likes to do things their way, but we've got those tied up also. Besides their times has passed. Our life doesn't require them at this moment. They are leftovers of several past lives.

Glad that you are here and hope to hear more of your story!