Hi irritable4life,

Thank you for sharing this with us.

There are a lot of emotions and anxiety going on here, this is my personal reflection after having read what you have written.

I feel these things sometimes too.

The worry ......

Feeling like meds aren't working .....

Unable to shut this thinking off ......

Sick with thoughts .....

Grappling with the idea you can end it all by "I can can just mix some pills and die in my sleep peacefully" .....

Losing hope .....

These are quite intrusive thoughts you have going on here.

Yes, I have had these thoughts when I have been in an episode.

My personal reflection on this is, it would be a good idea for you to speak to your medical practitioner about these thoughts, if you have not done so already, as they seem congruent with your current mood episode.

Hang in there and let us know how you go.