I'm sorry that you feel sad because of this, I completely understand. Having a good relationship was never in the cards for me. I was married 10 1/2 long years to a self serving a**hole, he is on his 4th wife now if that tells you anything about him. Talk about an evil narcissist! I married him at age 19.

Now, I have been single for 29 years. Wow, hard to believe. When I was first "single", I was a mom of 2 boys, no guy ever felt I was worth hanging around for because I had kids. When they found out I had kids, the look on their faces was priceless. Later on, I guess my craziness came out, I did not do it right when I was dating or something. I tried the online dating thing and ended up dating a bunch of married guys..found out they were married months later. I guess that was stupid and naive.

So...now I am 59, too old and completely anxiety ridden. Too crazy to be in a relationship. Many times, years ago, therapists told me that it would not be a good time to start one. It was never a good time! So no love for me either!!!

Didn't mean to write a book but I do totally empathize and am sorry for your distress. It's tough if you don't meet the right decent human being that loves you.

It does sound like you are in a really toxic relationship, I cannot advise you on that too much. A lot of people might suggest couples counseling if you don't think things have gone too far.