I called my pdoc but still no response. Now I'm starting to think my only friend is in league with the Devil. Why can't there be anyone that I can talk to about this besides my %#@&#! pdoc who says the same things over and over. "It's a tough illness" "Hang in there" "Distract yourself" Distracting myself doesn't work, these ideas come back, which must mean they are real. i hope an invisible soldier hasn't snuck in the house.