Thank you...

The question "Do I feel safe?" is one that seems to change depending on circumstances. It seems like when things are good and I'm not thinking about it, then yes I do feel safe. But if I run back through some of the major things that happened I start getting all worked up and upset and do not feel safe. And there have been plenty of times during arguments when I leave the room, and hear him stomping around and my first thoughts are always, "Is he getting a knife... is he going to come after me?" And I've had nightmares about him killing me. I remember one time I woke up in the middle of the night and realized he was standing over me and I really thought that was the end of me. (It turned out our hamster had gotten out and he had heard him near my side of the bed and so was trying to re-capture him).

But if I just don't think about anything, then I think I feel relatively "safe". And when I do start obsessing over things I always wonder if maybe I'm just overreacting. It's difficult.

And, I want to believe he will stop, that he's learned his lesson, and that nothing will ever happen again.