I'm so sorry you deal with that!
I've dealt with addiction before as well.
I was addicted to codeine for 4 years before I finally quit cold turkey because I realized it was ruining my life. I was sick and in withdrawal for a month! It was horrible! I felt like I was gonna die!
But yeah, the hallucination are pretty damn scary. I've tried to kill myself nine times because I just couldn't take it anymore.
I honestly don't want to be alive right now but I stay here because I don't want to hurt my family. One of the times I attempted suicide I ended up in a psych ward and my parents and best friend were crying and I just can't do that to them again.