It sounds like he has a sort of fantasy dream of a wife who will only do his bidding and serve him in "his house." He wants to be a king, own a boat, but not waste money on "unnecessary things."

I'm sorry if this comes out sounding harsh because I don't normally say bad things about people, but your husband is acting like a hypocrite. It takes two to make a marriage work. He can't ask you to do EVERYTHING. I feel anger coursing through me right now for this injustice.

The way things have sounded up until he broke down and accused you of "crushing his heart" have sounded fair and reasonable. Cooking half the days, sharing responsibilities around the house, you were both working. Even working part time and studying part time is considered working! That does not make you any less because your studies are an INVESTMENT so that you can attain a higher-paying job. If you discussed it and he was okay with it in the beginning, then there is no reason for him to all of a sudden change his mind and claim this choice of yours has caused the marriage to fall apart.

He is only saying you crushed his heart to emotionally blackmail you. He is unable to accept the fact that his extremely far-fetched fantasy is no longer going to come true. I do believe he is trying to manipulate you to do his bidding. And no, I don't believe you should have to go through this.

A lot of people have said this before, but he feels like a failure because he is comparing his job at the family business which he despises (failure) to your achievements: almost completing your masters, working full time now AND still studying, able to manage house chores, still able to find a place to live even when he kicked you out of the house.

He wanted to see you fail. He wanted to see your studies screwed up. He wanted to be one up from you. But in spite of everything he has done, you have not faltered and you still stand strong. That to him is a threat. And it is by NO MEANS legitimate. If he truly did love you, he would be happy for your achievements. Not want to sabotage you.

And if what he said about how it has nothing to do with the degree is true (though I highly doubt it)...how could he possibly be disappointed in you when he did not clearly lay out his demands from the get go. You can't let a marriage go on for 6 years, then all of a sudden tell your spouse they failed without explaining in advance the parameters for which they failed by. It should be a constant communication and feedback type of deal.

Many many hugs to you. It sounds like you have been through a lot and I know I definitely would be exhausted from all the emotional stress. *hugs* I'm sorry I don't have a definitive solution for you. But just know that I feel for you, and I don't believe you are a failure at all. You have done so much and you are so so so admirable for remaining strong is such a difficult time.

If he wants you to start doing extreme superwoman housework cleaning cooking studying working and putting up with his lies to his family to cover up his problems rather than deal with them himself... I'm sorry if I sound harsh again, but tell him that is not possible.