Absolutely no one decides what virginity means to you other than yourself. Break it down past centuries of social and religious stigma, and what is virginity? It's nothing. It is literally no more than one fleshy bit entering another fleshy bit.
It has zero significance beyond what we make of it. One's first sexual experience with another person is objectively about as important as one's first time riding a roller coaster, reading a book, or managing to twist one's tongue into a funny shape. And how often do you see people beating themselves up or being ridiculed for not having gone on a roller coaster? Never. Because that would be absurd.
Virginity can be important, it can be significant. But only if we make it so. But never should it dominate one's life or concern anyone to the point where it makes them feel less about themselves. No more or less than their first roller coaster ride would, at any rate.
Anyone who claims otherwise and would one one's 'virginity' as a means to stigmatize people, is simply not worth time or consideration.
Just my two cents.