(((Thefallen))) I've been where you're headed and I promise you, there is nothing there but more pain. Get yourself help. You don't have to continue on this downward spiral. Never make a major decision based on feelings, moods or emotions. They trick you. You are thinking with your depressed mind and the healthy part of your mind is saying get us help. Please go to the hospital, doctor or therapist. You are your own best advocate. Fight for you!!! There is light on the other side of this. I'm telling you from personal experience. That's why your here at Psych Central right? To get help? Let us help guide you through this. Medical care from a professional is needed right now, as soon as possible.