Welcome to PC misschristianmt! I am glad you joined us. I wish I could help you with your question but I honestly have never heard of someone wanting a terminal illness, Do you have a doctor or a therapist that you can talk this over with? There is a lot of information here so maybe you will find some information here that will help you. You might want to start posting in the depression forum. The members there may be able to help you. You can also try the forums for psychosis. After your first five posts have been approved you can post in any forum or join the social groups or chats if you like. Good Luck to you.