Your concerns are real and frustrating, AK; however, I think it is important to take a step back and consider the kind of woman you need and the kind of women you are meeting or communicating with online.

Based on your responses in this thread it appears to me that you are seeing the issue through tunnel vision, or focusing too intensely on the negative, which we all do when we are stressed and frustrated about an issue, but that is where we need to take a step back and examine the issue more broadly.

Let me tell you this: when I first became a member here, I was the most hopelessly lost, lonely, and socially frustrated person that was active on these forums . To continuously put yourself out there, meeting new woman and trying to create new social connections, only to be shot down almost immediately is one of the most difficult and heartbreaking struggles I have had to cope with as an adult. In fact, I struggled with this for so long that I came to the conclusion that all these rejections had nothing to do with status, sex, appearance, social skills, etc., I was simply unlovable. There was nothing I could do and no hope left for me. I was destined to be alone and miserable forever .

Now I am in a relationship with an incredible woman that I connect with on such a deep emotional, intellectual, and physical level.

How did I do it?

The first thing I did was (reluctantly) accept that not everything is in my control . I can’t control if a woman likes me or not, if she will see me as a ‘friend’ or as a sexual partner, if she can accept my eccentric behaviors and interests, etc. One day I would really like to marry my Girlfriend, but there is nothing I can do to stop her from walking out of my life forever right now. We as humans can’t control the behavior, actions, or reactions of others. Period.

The second thing I did was to focus less on what I hated about my life – the loneliness and isolation – and more on developing who I am and making my life better. I became a member of some local and national organizations that interested me, and with the encouragement of some new friends I made, I have become an international writer on current events and am working on publishing my first book on post-Cold War conflicts. Later I did some skills training, found a full-time job, and I bought an Audi, my first car!

In the process of developing who I am I found my soul-mate. We connected through a shared interest in current events; she was an active reader of my articles for national and international publications and non-profits.

Point being is that if you focus on bettering yourself instead of on what you feel makes you inadequate or unworthy you will meet the right people

No worthwhile woman will care if you are a virgin or not. The pressure to have sex exists, especially for us men because it is the ‘macho’ or ‘manly’ thing to do , but it is the truth that there are many woman that don’t care, and if I am not mistaken it is becoming more common for people to have sex later in life.

Case in point – I am 24 years old and still a virgin, my soul-mate/Girlfriend is 28 years old and still a virgin. We have chosen not to have sex (for the time being anyway) .