It saddens me to read that you both (Webgoji and gloamingone) aren’t experiencing a healthy level of reciprocity in your relationships .

Being on the opposite end of the spectrum (the antidepressants I have taken for years and major anxiety and depression have basically made me as sexually active as a dead flower), my significant other (who’s appetite for sex would annihilate anyone or anything that tried to measure it – like, wow! ) and I have talked about this, and we have agreed that it is necessary to make sacrifices or do things we don’t really want to do to keep our relationship alive and healthy . What if either one of us experiences a horribly stressful month at work and doesn’t want to have sex? It isn’t really fair to the other to unilaterally withhold sex, and since I am the one that struggles the most with sexual activity, I have made a conscious effort to help her with her needs, such as spending anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour intimately touching her, fingering her, etc., whatever she wants . (Sometimes I can get it on – usually, I can’t.) (We aren’t having sex because of issues with birth control, but when we do, this will become an issue and we are prepared for it. In the mean time, we do what we can.)

I don’t know what advice to offer to the both of you . As far as I am concerned, partners need to come to a compromise on these things, but if one partner isn’t willing to talk about it much less compromise…

I hope you two are able to work it out