Quote:
Originally Posted by MMalguy
Hi, Little Jay.
First and foremost, it is okay; it is okay to feel the way you feel. Paranoid thoughts are an unfortunate byproduct of anxiety. The simple fact that you say you know your thoughts are paranoid and absurd indicates that you are not paranoid, but are experiencing paranoid thoughts due to your anxiety. I have been where you are, and I have great empathy for you. It is mentally and physically taxing to be sucked into that world of paranoia and anxiety. At one point, I had become so increasingly introspective, that I began disassociating.
In my experience, I have found that acceptance and letting go is key. Have you ever tried meditating? If you have a smartphone, or any form of access to applications, I would suggest downloading and trying Headspace. It is amazing what breathing and meditating can do. It was the first time I truly felt relief from my thoughts. It was a much needed break, which sounds exactly like what you need. Anxiety makes it very difficult not to latch on to all of these negative thoughts, especially in the midst of an anxiety or panic attack. Accepting your thoughts (which is ONLY what they are--thoughts and nothing more) and emotions helps relieve yourself of that tension (fear), and letting go of them as well.
Seeking the help of a professional will help you confront all of this. However, in the meantime, seriously try the Headspace app. It was my saving grace, and continues to be.
Best of luck! I would love to know how it goes for you.
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+1 Exactly what he said! Ive never tried the headspace app though. What i can tell you from first hand experience is that when you have paranoid thoughts like this for a long period of time (6 years is a long time!) it can be easy to fall into a pattern to where feeling that way and having those thoughts can become so normal to you that they are just automatic. To the point where even if you dont consciously think about whats bothering you, you will still feel panicked and scared and just wont be able to put a label on it.
I have a challenge for you. You said you were scared of hearing noises/someone being in your house. I want you to try, maybe even just once, to not investigate/hole up with a knife next time you hear a provoking noise etc. Instead try to just do nothing different. Close your eyes, read book, be as defenseless as possible. What will happen most likely at that point is your anxiety will shoot through the roof. I want you to then accept that feeling. Tell yourself how it is - "i feel really scared because i think someone has broken into my home" etc. just breathe deep, and focus all your attention on how you feel. The fear should slowly dissipate. Pay close attention to that also. Once youve mostly settled, if you want to go check it out etc thats fine. I think however after enough times of doing this you will eventually not feel the need to do so.
Hope this helped
and i hope things start to get better for you!
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