Ever since my teen-age years, i've always known i've got a weird, awkward personality. I was never, ever comfortable being gay. So I was so happy to have met someone whom I was able to share my life with. 8 years we were together. But we recently broke up, and I feel like I'm so alone and unlovable. I'm too ugly to find someone to love me again. And i don't have any friends because i don't know how to sustain a friendship. Being alone is too much. I constantly think of killing myself, but the catholic in me prevents me from pushing through with it. But I can't help but keep hating God for making me the way I am.