oh god, i love you guys right here in this thread. i was that person screaming in the silent room that no one could hear even though nothing else was going on. i was a mute because it got that bad - i'm a gemini, i LOVE talking. and i let this thing get to me so bad that i just quit talking because i saw no point - cause no one was listening or would tell me i was making things up. ladisputelover, halflight - talk to me, private message me. i'll effing listen and i'll help you navigate this crap best i can - only because i have been through it. all i can do is give advice on my experiences and hopefully it will clear fog/bring you clarity. you can't let this stupid diagnosis take over your life.
ladisputelover - i have been hallucinating since i was a small child, i have trauma in my past; WHO DOESN'T? growing up, my grandmother would tell me everything is fine and tell me to embrace the voices/hallucinations but then when i "got too out of control" would send me to the hospital to get medications - so i would be drugged/shut up. not to mention she had been medicating me for as long as i can remember. creating a monster and then dumping me when i became too much for her to handle. i don't know, i still wrestle with the diagnosis i've been given, i was diagnoised schizoaffective 10 years ago. i am really spiritual (this is completely different than religious) and so i believe i have been given a gift to see/hear things others don't. and i am currently unmedicated because i am trying to figure it all out. i've been without medication against doctors orders for 6 years, i do not suggest you do this however. i do not know how i appear as "stable" as i am, it's hard. real hard. but i feel at this time it is important for me to do this to figure things out - and in the last three years i have figured out so much through self-discovery. sorry, i'm rambling again and i'm almost sure i am completely off topic. hahahaha.