I guess I'm not doing so well atm. Spring is coming. All winter I've been telling myself that things will get better in spring. Well, now it's coming up on the crucial time. And I'm scared... I'm scared that I will be proven wrong, just as I have been time and time again. What if I'm wrong, and nothing gets better? All my hope is riding on the chance that this spring will bring with it something good for once. Well, what if it doesn't?... I don't think I could continue...

I just want to feel something besides this constant depression, trepidation and worry. Even numbness would be welcome, for a little while. Sometimes I wish I could just unzip my skin from the inside and climb out of this body, because it smothers me.