For a long time I never considered the possibility of me having an eating disorder. Eating disorders were only reserved for anorexia and bulimia, whereas I just had a sweet tooth. However, tonight was the fourth time in two weeks that I ate too much, that I forced myself to get sick. It's a very sobering experience when you realize that you have a serious problem, and admittedly I feel really lonely and not sure who to talk too.

It's hard to explain because to be honest, I don't mind being heavy. I definitely need to lose weight to be at a healthy BMI, but I have never let being heavy stop me from doing fun stuff. But I am definitely an emotional and stress eating, and even getting sick is not about losing weight, but for the endorphin release. I do suffer from depression, and while I am taking medication, I feel like this binge eating is just a way for me to cope with stress. I want to eat healthier and learn how cope appropriately. If I lose weight in the process, that's excellent, but definitely not the primary goal.

I am a very emphatic person, and tend to put other people before myself, typically cause it distracts me from my issues, but I hope this forum allows me to kind of disassociate from that mentality and focus on me. The problem is, I have no idea where to start. I have never done anything like this before.

So forgive me rambling in this post, and at least thanks for reading.