Quote:
Originally Posted by Ocean5
Then you start asking what are people thinking of you....it's the worst and isolate yourself. I even stopped picking up packages at my apartment office until daytime staff was gone. Felt so judged. I'd wait till it was just security at night. But judgment was in my mind (least I hope.)
It's not worth it. I'm just beginning to understand this... Now when something is delivered I go pick-it up in last week. Realized they aren't judging me - if anything management feels bad for me (long story...)
Seriously - we didn't do this to ourselves - why should we be ashamed? And who cares what others think, after what we have been through - they have no right to judge and you don't need to explain yourself.
You survived in a way nature intended - there is no need to explain.
And I'm just beginning to realize/accept I've lived with this since a young child - I survived - was successful in past. Never had to explain - I didn't even know my condition.
Sure some people think I'm weird, I confuse others, worried some people, but some of those people loved me and never questioned.
We've made it this far and survived. That's what's important.
I forgot who said it, but whatever you do keep moving forward - even if you have to crawl - just keep moving forward...
|
Ocean5, VERY WELL SAID!!!
A major part of my life is owning up to what my alters have done. Mine is also a long story, and it affects me every damn day of my life. I'm living in my own personal hell because of it. But like most, I am also a survivor. The difference is that I created most of my trauma myself by putting myself in bad situations and saying/doing outrageous things. I messed up my life pretty bad, and I don't think it's fixable.