My husband is bipolar. We have been together for 20 years.I am so tired of being the rock and dependable one in the relationship. I am 53 years old and I don't think I can do this anymore. He cycles on and off his meds and now he just decided to stop one med because of the cost. He had a meltdown early Monday morning. Each meltdown rips my soul apart and I lose a piece of it each time. He used to destroy things in his rages, but now he raves verbally and is verbally abusive towards me during his meltdowns. Then, once the episode is over for him he expects everything to go back to normal. He doesn't remember how hateful he is to me but unfortunately I do. I can't get over it as quickly as he does and he doesn't understand what the big deal is for me. He has almost ruined us financially with his many unfinished projects and I am at my wits end. I stay depressed, resentful and bitter towards him. I have lost all respect for him. We have separated many times in our 20 years and I see another break up coming. Help.