Quote:
Originally Posted by kmptrgeek
I know exactly what your feeling. Sometimes I wish I had never been diagnosed, because now I know I have something that doesn't have a cure (yet). Before I could just think everything would be better if my circumstances were different, or people would just leave me alone. But now I know there's that monster in the woods and it just depends on how close to the woods I am. When I'm in the woods with the monster...it's bad...and I feel like no one can understand except those who have also been in the woods with the monster.
Yeah, I know...too much.
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The person who's close to me who I think knows about the monster in the woods hasn't responded to my latest inquiry, and it hurts. I don't know why he hasn't yet responded.
The other night, before I got home and wrote this post, as I was walking to the train from work I felt like my world was in fragments. I wanted everyone on the street to get the f**k away from me. The black pavement that shined in the rain and the streetlights seemed like it was going to break apart. I felt like I was going to have a break in the middle of Manhattan. I felt like I was tripping on mushrooms. My gut felt like it was being pulled down. I felt like I was close to tears as I was about to board my train. But I didn't feel low.
I don't know what that was. I don't know if it was anxiety, or something else. It was scary.