Mona, you were so brave and were shamed for it!! I am very sorry that your T reacted the way she did. Since she blushed, it seems like she totally dropped her role as your T. That's unfortunate and unprofessional. She should have controlled herself and had some empathy for you. I am like you and Hankster when it comes to loving Ts. I know you know that! I wish you could find a T who accepts all of your parts. Maybe an IFS T like mine? I will add that my T reacted strongly when she thought I was reacting sexually to holding her hand. I think Ts get scared or embarrassed because they're human. I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do. You have some difficult decisions to make about your program.