Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepless0515
So, as I posted before; I'm going through a mixed episode.
I have two toddlers, very close in age. This morning, my husband wasn't able to take our children to daycare before he went to work, so I was to take them on my way to work. They are your usual busy toddlers. By 9:30, I was having a panic attack, unable to deal with the stress of parenthood. I left the house much earlier than I should have just to get them to daycare. Dealing with them, without the help of my husband, was definitely a trigger.
I feel horrible, I feel like I'm a horrible mom, and that my kids deserve a better mother than one that avoids dealing with them, alone, because of her own issues.
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Sleepless,
I am a mother as well. I know too well the sensations of stress and panic you are describing. However, I have just the opposite problem. I do not trust anyone else to care for more three year old better than I can. My break comes when his father (clearly the more active parents) takes him out for the day or has him for the weekend. These days are very important to me and my ability to parent the way I want to. I am not working right now as I returned to school this year, so I spend a lot of time at home. At times, it can feel like I am trapped and completely overwhelmed. That said, it is important to know your limits especially when you feel disabled by your symptoms. Do not feel guilty about utilizing your resources. I always making up for these afternoons apart by doing something one and one and meaningful with my son the next time I am feeling more stable. Lately I have been dangerously depressed and it has been so difficult as he is very active. I just want to sleep and cry all day. When I don't have this need met, I become very irritable. This is just a small insight into my day. My point is, you are not alone.
Thank you for your post. I think it is important as mother, sane or not, often feel inadequate. Best wishes.