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Originally Posted by possum220
Just wondering........ I have lived on my own for the past two decades. So not much feedback from others how I may appear. I went to my therapist on Monday and the parts/alters (as per usual) pushed themselves forward and took control. My body ached afterwards from the muscular changes. (Having said that it is Thursday night now as I type this and I can't remember. I can't even explain what too place three days ago).
I have seen recordings of two other people on the net who have DID. One person's voice totally changed from the host. Another person's voice changed very little at all.
I wondered how I appeared to others. Does it look like I am faking it? It feels real...
How do others here experience their alters/parts when they move outside your physical body to the real world? Have you ever been recorded? Did it show you anything that you didn't already know?
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Hi Possum,
I think my switching is very subtle. In fact, that's why I believe my disorder went undetected for years. I think most people, to include significant others and my parents, can't tell. I had one ex boyfriend figure it out before I did. I remember him yelling, "Where's that other girl?! The one you were just yesterday!! What happened! Normal people don't change over night!!!" I was dumbfounded and confused by his accusations. I didn't remember changing. Recently, he contacted me and I told him I thought I had DID. His response? "Yeah, I figured that out already." Lol.
But most people don't notice my DID because its so subtle. I think that might be because my trauma happened when I was an older child/adolescent, so my host personality was more developed. At least this is what I theorize. I just purchased a scholarly textbook on the subject, and it states there are different types of DID. I think my case is fragmented. I think that fragments of other identities latch on to my host and can almost co/host, except that the host personality is unaware when this is happening. For me, I feel possessed. Almost compelled to do certain things and I can't remember why.
Sometimes the other personalities take over completely, but that's only when I've been drinking, meditating, or drifting off to sleep. In fact, I hardly sleep cause my alter takes over and talks all night long! When the alters take over 100%, its in a complete blackout and I have no recollection. At most I'll get little flashes of memory of things I said or did, but that's it. I'm always dumbfounded and confused by my memories. I do and say outrageous things that I wouldn't normally do.
I just went on and on so you get the idea that everyone's different. There are different variences of DID, and a lot of that is dependent on the type of trauma one suffered, the severity, and length of the trauma. I think my trauma though severe to me, isn't as severe as most others with the disorder. Have you tried setting up a video surveillance in your house? There is a smart voice recorder app you can download to your cell phone as well. You can just set it on record and check it when you remember. I've tried to record myself, but my alter is always trying to foil my plans. She does not want me to figure her out.
Anyway, hope I was able to help. At the least, you can compare my experience with yours.