I hear ya hun. I've known since I was a teenager, and here I am in my forties. Ignorance is bliss, but my entire life has been a nightmare. I know I'm in the dissociative spectrum which is good enuff for me. I'd almost accuse my head of making this up, but I've had 5-8 emotional breakdowns, crying screaming suicidal, the whole 9 yards. But in the middle of each, a soothing voice would say "it's going to be all right", then I would just melt. The reason I was crying would disappear, forgetting the reason. I'd be wiping my eyes wondering why I was crying in the first place laughing about it and feeling at peace. Complete change of attitude, personality. I have no idea to explain it. Today, I can't recall why exactly I was having these breaks, just vague might be's.

Also my sexy alter would come out and dress up and just love on my lover which really loved it. It was so not me, but it was fun!. I've got too many incidents against it not being real.