I think that he sees you as now very close to not "needing" him any more. He sees you accomplishing your dreams and goals and he is lashing out because it makes him angry that he's not doing the same.

It's true that it's childish behavior and not something to be encouraged by anyone.

I think if you let his behavior continue, then he will think it's working. And if you keep letting him manipulate you into thinking that you are in the wrong, then he will just keep going with the abuse.

If I was in your position, I would not be coerced into going back into the house until he has sorted out some of his problems with a therapist.

If he doesn't go, then you don't go back.