You're not fat. You're healthy. I know that's hard to hear. I hate being told I look "healthy" or "good", but it's the truth. I don't know your current or past weight, but to have doubled it, you had to have been at a horribly low weight. Just keep telling yourself that. And remind yourself of all the things you can accomplish and feel and be a part of now that you don't feel like crap all the time.

I hear you. I went through the exact same thing almost three years ago. It sucked at the time, but once I survived it(and I wasn't sure I would), I was so much better off for it. And I'm looking at going through the same thing yet again in the very near future. I'm terrified, but I know it's for the best. Hang in there. You made it this far, you can get through this.