Yeah, to all of the above. I can't handle anything being out of control, any distress is completely intolerable and any "feeling" I get, be it good, bad or indifferent, I don't want it. I feel like I have to stuff it down, I have to make it go away, I have to do anything, anything in the world not to feel it. And all that happens is I eventually end up getting so overwhelmed with everything that I totally freak out and purge or go run for many miles, something to "get rid" of those feelings. Does that make sense?