Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
Your T's reaction was pretty defensive and just all a bit sh-it really. BUT was it really bad enough to make you never go back to her? What about the 18months plus you've been seeing her, hasn't she met your needs in lots of other ways? Isn't the relationship you've both nurtured worth at least going back and talking it out?
I am in no way suggesting her reaction was okay, but maybe if you're frank about how she made you feel it could be a really valuable learning experience for you both. I understand how raw this all feels for you, but maybe just take some time out to feel that and let it pass a little before making big decisions about not going back.  |
Mona & Asia...
I read a lot and don't comment often, even when I have a strong opinion. However, I've been reading this thread and Mona, I really wanted to reach out to you and tell you that you should never have to be ashamed of loving someone. It doesn't matter the context. There is too little real love in the world. However, as I sit here, I have never told my T that I love her. I have a strong maternal love for her. I've never felt any thing remotely like it toward anyone. I have told her that I adore her, which is by definition, stronger than love, but people generally use it more casually than its defined. I wasn't being casual at all but I'm not sure she realizes that, even though I'm very careful with my words. I have to admit that I am ashamed of the way I feel about my T, because our relationship is contrived from a business arrangement. I feel horrid that the person I love so much only has a relationship with me because it's a business arrangement. You are so brave for being able to tell her no matter how difficult it was to get out. I understand why you don't think you can go back. Her reaction was in the very least, really weird. However, I agree with Asia. You can't let this moment of embarrassment cost you a realy good and productive relationship. Your T definitely said the wrong thing, but she is only human and if she hasn't had much experience reacting to patients who feel this way, it's somewhat understandable. Also, I'm guessing she's already aware that she said the wrong thing. I think it'd really benefit you if you gave her the chance to try to come up with the right thing to say. I think if you had responded to something she said in a negative way, you'd realy want the chance to clear the air. Please consider giving her a chance.
As for me, when your finished clearing this up, and I know you will, send me piece of your courage and maybe I'll be able to express how I feel to my T.