You have value (((Electra)))!! We all do. We may not see it during our lows, but when the sun peeps through the darkness and the light shines on your life you can see the value of you. You may need to have your medications tweaked. You've spent too much time in that dark pit and it's effecting your thinking. You need to get out of there and breathe some fresh air. Please go see your doctor. You owe it to yourself to try. What is there to loose, except the grip that depression has on you right now?