My husband and I have been together 10 years (married 5) and have 2 young kids. We went through a period 2 years ago where we couldn’t resolve some major conflicts, and he agreed to start marriage counseling on my request. It helped us get past the crisis point, but he didn't really commit to the process. About a year ago, we "took a break" from counseling due to financial trouble and haven’t been back; I was more motivated to return than he was, and I eventually dropped it.

We get along fine most of the time, but I don't feel as connected to him. I used to be more of the pursuer in the relationship while he was more emotionally withdrawn. A lot of stuff got stirred up in counseling that was painful for me, and I was motivated to work through it, but I felt stonewalled when I tried to talk to him. Over the last year I think I’ve slowly pulled away and started numbing out.

Lately, he has started making more effort to reach out to me, and has mentioned that I seem distant. I appreciate that he's trying, but I'm struggling to connect. At times I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I still enjoy cuddling and hugging, even sex, and I can enjoy a friendly conversation with him. But when I feel emotionally vulnerable, I’m more likely stay across the house busying myself than reach out to him. I don't like kissing anymore, and often find myself avoiding eye contact with him. I don't like seeing photos from early in our relationship anymore, which I used to love.

I know relationships have ups and downs, and we have days when I feel closer to him than others. I care about him, he's a good person, he's a good Dad to our kids and he's kind to me. I want our relationship to work, but I don’t know how to fix the emotional disconnect. Has anyone been able to reestablish intimacy in their relationship after feeling like this? What can I do?