This is a general question here. I am beginning to wonder if I am depressed or if my reactions are part of a normal processing? Like most folks, things in life can get rough, tough and we must do something with that. I don't believe that we all have to be smiles and jest. There are times when due to circumstances, we get down, have a hard time of sleeping etc.
As for me, it is complicated and I don't want to bore anyone but my turn of life is like a web of various situations that just leaves me stumped to the point where it is difficult to make decisions....and soon I will be forced into making one...lease running out of my apartment and must move.

So, then why is that so difficult? well...it is a long story but, I moved to this country two years ago and had reverse culture shock, I cannot find a "real" job to sustain me so I must share a place with others. I am 55 and have never been in this situation. America is different, (I am American but lived away for 20 years). There are clear divisions between the aged and the young, there are rules that make it more difficult to live in a place, there is credit ratings, leases where they raise the rent every year by an amount much more than anyone would get in a raise at work! It costs a ton to move, and move again and again. wow

Anyway, I have looked for a real job for 2 years (in the attempt to be near my older children) nada, nothing I now work in retail at a toy store that leads to nowhere, a mom and pop shop.

Okay, so what's the problem? Every time I apply for a job abroad, I get an interview and a job offer. I can survive better there, but....it does get complicated because I am older. I know that I don't want to grow old alone and in a foreign country but this one does not let me survive.

IN one month, I must decide to either pack up and leave or stay.
I can't sleep, I am not hungry, I cry, I feel all blocked up.

Is this depression? Is this why it is so difficult to make a decision?