I ended with my T two weeks ago by letter. It was my choice, I think I was having awful therapy. I had only been seeing her months, not years, like you, however it has been a hard two weeks (I'm putting it mildly here). I am starting to feel a bit better now. I wonder if you might be better off having a few termination sessions. I literally felt that I couldn't attend another session with my T, but when I had spoken to her before about ending she had urged me to 'do an ending' with her, she suggested four sessions in which we reviewed our time together. I wonder if that might be better for you? Might help to deal with the loss, and ( I presume) the anger that you feel.