Hi, Sppring...
I am thinking of you as you face this weekend alone...I really DO know what you are going thru, and it is intensely hard at this time. Even if you call the man, or text him, don't be too hard on yourself. It is part of the process, in my experience. The bottom line to remember, however, is that this man has not been good to you or for you, has done this in his previous marriage, is likely to continue his player lifestyle with or without you. YOU must decide if missing him right now outweighs all the crap you've put up with!
I honestly look at this as an addiction, not love, as I've been there totally, and understand. It can take a very long time to recover from such a thing, but in the end it's worth it!
Love
Patty