Quote:
Originally Posted by Stronger
I recovered (physically) from binge/purge anorexia about 4 years ago. But my thoughts about food have still never really been...what they should be.
This is my second semester at college majoring in Biochemistry and taking 19 credit hours while trying to balance a part time job. I am constantly busy and don't have time for food. To make things worse, I'm on some new meds that kill my appetite.
Since recovery, my weight has been seemingly stuck at one spot. But lately, well...
Freshman 15? Yeah, in a negative direction.
I keep trying to remind myself about all the bad things that accompanied being that unhealthy...gross textured hair, constant hair loss, always feeling dizzy and weak, different skin texture, bad breath...the list goes on.
But still I wonder, as the scale continues going down...how much is too much? I'm not actually relapsing, right? I'm still in the healthy range.
But....would it really be so bad?......
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Only you can decide if living is this eating disorder hell is worth it. Personally, I'm beating myself up for letting myself end up here again. They say you always end up at the same place you left off of before recovery, if not worse. I'm definitely finding that to be true. For me, any weight loss is a bad idea. I just can't keep it manageable and I tend to let it snowball until it takes on a life of its own. Just because you're in the healthy range now doesn't mean you will be for long. Don't let yourself go there. You sound like you have a strong future ahead of you. Don't let it go by the wayside, or be ruined because of weight. Get ahead of this while you still can.