I'm in a bit of a pickle. I met a guy I really like, the first in a very long time.

The last time I dated was 13 years ago and when we broke up, a week later I lost my job and the whole thing resulted in my first nervous breakdown. I had a full manic episode and became suicidal with hallucinations. That's when I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1.

I'm not even technically dating this guy, we just met, got drunk, we both got a little manic and messed around. Nothing serious. But now we talk on the phone every night and we plan on hanging out again soon. I hope. I guess. I don't know.

I'm just so afraid of having another nervous breakdown. How do I learn to enjoy this rather than over-thinking every word, suffering from extreme jealousy and feeling so insecure? Anytime I really like someone I get scared and have such a hard time enjoying it. I always think it's over before it even begins. I'm already thinking of this guy as my future ex-boyfriend.