So, as everybody know, I'm going through a horrible mixed episode.

Yesterday, I have had finally reached bottom and tried hurting myself by cutting my wrist. Just a few minutes through the act, I think about my husband and children and I stopped immediately.

Due to the incident, and me not getting any better; my husband and I will be going to see my PDoctor this after-noon.

I'm scared to death. If I answer yes to the question on the assessment: "have you tried to hurt yourself" or "did you have suicidal thoughts" or that if I tell him about last night, that he will call on me and have me on Lock down.

What do you guys think? Are there any chances that he would do that?
By the way, my husband is following me closely and makes sure that I take my medication and that I'm safe.

Please don't judge me....I don't that was selfish but I felt like I wasn't in control, a weird phase of derealization. Yesterday had been a terrible day and I have finally reached bottom in my hellish episode.