I posted this last night in psychiatric medications, but was given the advice to post here in hopes of a few more responses. I've been diagnosed Bipolar I with psychotic features. I'm currently taking 1000mg of Depakote ER and 200mg of Seroquel (down from 800mg a little over a year ago at diagnosis... Yay!). I've been told so many times to stop taking the Depakote if I'm pregnant/plan on becoming pregnant. I'm not and I don't, but I ran across a website earlier talking about birth defects related to the acne medication, Acutane, and the horrible pictures you can find around the internet. It set a morbid curiosity churning in me. I really, really, really don't think it's a good idea to look pictures up, but I really, really, really want to do it.

What if looking up the pictures scars me so badly that I decide I don't want to take my meds anymore, just in case something were to happen? Are there other mood stabilizers out there that work as well as Depakote (I know, subjective, but I'd like your opinions)? My dad is bipolar, as well, and has never had any issues with Depakote, but he doesn't have to worry about pregnancy and destroying his baby. Has anyone looked up the effects on the babies in picture form before? If so, is it something I should avoid like the plague or should I inform myself regardless of the consequences?

I'm terrified. It's the first time I've really thought about it since I started taking the meds and I'm really starting to beat myself up for not thinking more on it earlier. I've never looked up the actual effects even in text form and now I'm scared to even do that because what if they have pictures? Like I said, I don't plan on becoming pregnant any time soon, but accidents happen regardless of precautions.