I was assessed by a mental health nurse today. We had a long talk, asking me lots of questions about my emotions and how I am coping with life atm. After a long winded talk...he made up his mind that I may be suffering from psychosis, mostly the paranoia side of it and delusions and he said I am a "very depressed young lady". I have thoughts about wanting to harm people and how they stare at me on the streets and as if they know what is going on in my mind. I am very nervous about walking around the streets sometimes.

But other times I just want to laugh and I love everyone. I either want to isolate myself from the world or I want to be around people. My moods seem to go from one extreme to the other. Sometimes I need very little sleep...other times I just wish I would never wake up. He has asked me how I was feeling today...I told him how I didn't feel anything. All I feel is numbness. There is no feelings...and I just want to sleep all day. Be away from the rest of the world.

He is no psychiatrist though so he couldn't really give me a proper diagnose. He has refereed me to an psychiatrist but there is a long waiting list. At least a months wait which sucks but at least I've made the first step. For the time being I'll try and not give in with my intrusive thoughts and to keep myself safe.